Under This Old Hat

I was browsing through my older sister’s blog today and she unwittingly inspired me, as she often does, to start one of my own. So, here I am, beginning my blog.

The Crown- why I choose to call my blog that. At birth, my mother gave me a very unfortunate name, in my opinion. One that has evoked many a joke on my behalf over the years. Not as regrettable a name as blanket, apple, Moxie CrimeFighter, or Fifi Trixibell- yet it has brought me my share of teasing. Over the years I have traveled much, and have yet to come to an airport or a country where passport control, upon opening my passport, did not laugh, snicker, or snort in some fashion. The Cambodian airport went as far as to pass my passport around to give every airport employee the chance to laugh.

My theory is that while lying in the hospital bed, after delivering her third child, tired, worn out, and hopped up on epidural anesthesia and all sorts of other drugs, my mother just wanted to go home. But first, she needed to give her child a name. Longing to be home, in real clothes, eating real food, and getting real sleep, my mother looked out the window and spotted a Camry parked below. A very dim light bulb switched on inside her head, and my mother scribbled down “Camree” on the birth certificate, not even spelling it right.

Yes, an unfortunate name, but, why the crown? As it turns out, Camry, pronounced /ˈkæmri/, is Japanese for crown. トヨタ・カムリ . Ironically enough, as a crown is a symbol of royalty, my family is rumored to have come from royal lineage, as symbolized by our second toe being longer than our big toe. A symbol of royalty that my siblings and our father, as well as I, have been taught from birth. All my life us kids had a sense of pride stemming from the proof of our royalty marked by our toes. And then just two weeks ago on a visit to our grandparents, the truth was revealed. As it turns out, this sign of royalty we took such pride in, was a lie, started by our Grandfather before our father was even born. Sitting in a barber shop years and years ago, a young man was getting down on himself, and complained that his toes were ugly because his second toe was longer than his first, to which my clever Grandpa replied with a smirk “son don’t you know that’s the sign of nobility?” That young man walked out with a smile, and my Grandfather, clearly pleased with his myth, taught it to his children, and his children’s children- funny how easy rumors get started.

After my grandpa revealed the truth of the rumor, my little sister looked it up and it turns out that it is actually called Morton's toe, or Morton's syndrome, named after an American orthopedic surgeon Dudley Joy Morton. Apparently, today it is a very common and normal foot shape, and even has it's own wiki, but then again..what dosnt have it's own wiki?

On the topic of my Grandpa and his rumors, my Grandpa told my father when he was very young that my grandma had a friend named Poopalotta Brown. What possessed him to say this or what sparked the idea I have no idea, but my father believed this, even into his adulthood. Just a few years ago, in his late forties, my mother, still in total disbelief of poopalotta's existance, finally asked my grandparents for the truth and proved Poopalotta Brown never did exist.
Interesting enough, I recently discovered on facebook, a Cami Poopalotta, could this be the rumored Poopalotta from my father’s childhood?

P.S., just for fun,here are 50 of the craziest celebrity baby names that put my name to shame. Courtesy of http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article2130988.ece

Aanisah: Macy Gray (also mother to Tahmel)

Apple: Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow

Astrella Celeste: Donovan and Linda Lawrence (also parents to Oriole Nebula)

Atherton Grace: Don Johnson and Kelley Phleger

Audio Science: Shannyn Sossamon

Aurelius Cy: Elle Macpherson and Arpad Busson

Blue Angel: U2's The Edge and Aislinn O'Sullivan

Bluebell Madonna: Geri Halliwell

Brooklyn: David and Victoria Beckham (also parents to Romeo and Cruz)

Calico: Alice and Sheryl Cooper (also parents to Sonora Rose)

Camera: Arthur Ashe and Jeanne Moutoussamy

Destry: Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw

Diezel Ky: Toni Braxton and Keri Lewis (also parents to Denim Cole)

Fifi Trixibell: Bob Geldof and Paula Yates (also parents to Peaches and Pixie)

Fuchsia: Sting and Frances Tomelty

Gaia: Emma Thompson and Greg Wise

Gulliver: Gary Oldman and Donya Fiorentino

Heaven: Lil' Mo (also mother to God'Iss Love Stone)

Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily: Paula Yates and Michael Hutchence

Hopper: Sean Penn and Robin Wright

Ireland: Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger

Jaz: Steffi Graf and Andre Agassi

Jazz Domino: Joe Strummer

Jermajesty: Jermaine Jackson and Alejandra Genevieve Oaziaza (previously married to Jermaine's brother Randy)

Kal-El Coppola: Nicholas Cage (Kal-El is Superman’s original birth name)

Kyd: David Duchovny and Tea Leoni

Lark Song: Mia Farrow and André Previn

Lennon: Liam Gallagher and Patsy Kensit

Liberty: Ryan Giggs

London Emilio: Slash

Luna Coco Patricia: Frank Lampard and Elen Rive

Marquise: 50 Cent

Memphis Eve: Bono

Moon Unit: Frank Zappa, also father to Dweezil and Diva Muffin

Moxie CrimeFighter: Penn Jillette (also father to Zolten)

Ocean: Forest Whitaker (also father to Sonnet and True)

Pilot Inspektor: Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf

Poppy Honey: Jamie and Jules Oliver (also parents to Daisy Boo)

Rocket: Robert Rodriguez (also father to Racer, Rebel and Rogue)

Rufus Tiger: Roger Taylor also father to Tiger Lily and Lola Daisy

Saffron Sahara: Simon and Yasmin Le Bon (also parents to Amber Rose and Tallulah Pine)

Sage Moonblood: Sylvester Stallone and Sasha Czack (also parents to Seargeoh)

Satchel: Spike Lee and Tonya Lewis Lee

Seven Sirius: Andre Benjamin and Erykah Badu

Shiloh Nouvel: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

Sosie: Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick

Suri: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes

Tallulah: Bruce Willis and Demi Moore (also parents to Scout and Rumer)

Willow Camille Reign: Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith

Zola Ivy: Eddie Murphy and Nicole Mitchell


.Ramzi